Monday, May 4, 2009

Eps' Take on the Hustle

I disagree a little bit with my brother C-Nel on this subject. I guess my teaching experience has colored my view

I personally find it more difficult to teach someone how to hustle. Teaching has taught me that. I find it so so so much easier to deal with kids who may lack skills but are hustlers. They want to learn. They have a drive to succeed. That gives me a great starting point to work with.

But if a kid is smart and has no motivation, that is waaaaaaaaay more difficult to work with. Not having that drive, that willingness to work hard is a killer. You can have few skills but be a hard worker and get by. If you dont have any motivation to work hard but is bright as a light bulb, you are going to eventually hit a ceiling. 

Tp put it simply, you can never knock the hustle...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Having The Skill vs. Having The Hustle (C. Nel's Take)

Three days ago my good friend Epsilonicus and I engaged in a vigorous debate about which makes a person more successfull being skillful or being a hustler.

My contention was that there are people who can be successful if they have one and not the other. I actually think we may have agreed on that point. But back to my theory or theories as it relates to the issue at hand.

Every day I see examples of people who know a whole lot, but wouldn't know a day of hard work if it kicked em square in the forehead.

At the same time I often see people who work very hard but aren't the brighest or most skilled. Yet in some cases these people still meet great success.

Epsi said he believe it easier to teach skill than hustle, I think it depends entirely on which skills you're trying to teach.

Epsi tried to get indignant and say his nearly year of teaching made him an expert. W/E I have worked with kids of all ages extensively as well. Some people can be taught effectively how to hustle, and some kids can be taught more effectively how to ace a test.

I think that if one can help it they should aim to have both the skill and the hustle, luckily I think I have both, or am wise enough to try to develop even more as a skillful person and a hustling person.

C. Nel

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Love of Mother CNEL's Take

Not so long ago a group of friends and I were at another friend’s house. They are all a little younger than me. We sat around talking about my last year in college and their first year. At one point because he’s the oldest child and her first child off to college my friend’s mother asked me how my relationship with my mother had changed while I was in college. I said mostly that it hadn’t except for the fact that I didn’t call or e-mail her nearly as much as I did prior to senior year.You see after four years of boarding school, and three years of college I pretty much had it down to a science that I would call and e-mail my mother a few times a week, maybe more if I needed what parents are always good for money or advice.

Senior year was a tad different namely because I was so busy, and because I was a R.A. in a freshman dorm. While I still called my mother it wasn’t as consistent as it had been prior. I remember once explaining to her that I didn’t call as much because a) I was busy, b) my kids needed me, and c) she had done a good job raising me so I was determined to help those who weren’t as lucky. It wasn’t a condemnation of the parenting skills of any of my friend’s parents but more a testament to the job my mother did raising me.Far from a perfect child, my childhood nickname is “Goody” because they said as a youngster I was so bad they needed to do a little reverse psychology. It worked because most of my friends now see me as a “good two shoes”, others call me prude. I just tell them I know who I am. Though I have those moments when I think it impossible to achieve those things which I hope to achieve, those things are at least within reach.

Recently as Father’s Day came and went I thought about what impact being raised by a single mother has had on me. It’s something that I’ve written about before. Looking back I think it’s pretty undeniable that there was a void. Growing up my relationships with any adults I became close to had me seeking not so much the love I got that at home, but I certainly sought to be encouraged, motivated, and nurtured. The adults in my life never ceased to compliment me on my maturity, my compassion, and their sense that I was wise beyond my years. Those are all things I can most certainly attribute to my mother. My mother knew that not having a father meant that I wouldn’t have someone to teach me what being a man entailed. She instead reinforced the importance of education. I’ve sought in education a way to define for my own self what being a man means. I’ve defined my own manhood on my own terms.


The Love of A Mother Epsi's Take

When I take a moment and reflect, there is not much that I missed growing up in a single parent home. Yeah,there may have been that male role model missing that everyone talks about. Yet when I look at how I turned out, my mother did an incredible job raising me alone. I know how to relate to women with a dignity and respect that many dual parent kids sometimes may not share. These kids may take their mom for granted. For me, however, seeing the work and effort my mother put made me appreciate the strength of a woman.

My mom and countless others put the weight of their family on their backs. She raised me without help. She worked and participated at school, and battled a few demons on her own. All of this and I came out a surprisingly decent human being. Her work makes me appreciate and treat women with a dignity that many men do not see appreciate.A second reason that I did not have expereince my mother and father breaking up. Some parents stay together for the kids. That makes home life difficult. I did not have to see my mother and father argue. There was no awkward divorce. No wondering why Daddy does not stay with us. No getting acclimated to new spouses. With my mother leaving my father very early in my life, I did not have any of those negative experiences. I am glad. That is something that no child should experience

Now I am not saying that the optimal condition for raising a child is a single family home. What I am saying is that I do not feel deficient. I do not feel as if I am incomplete. The wholeness of my humanity was fulfilled by mother. She made sure I learned all the lessons necessary in order to make it. I appreciate her for that too. I am whole because of her.

I don't say " I love you" because the way I feel is greater